22/10/28

To make true friends, you have to be a friend. Emotional intelligence can help.

  

 

 

.Read:

https://www.inc.com/justin-bariso/emotional-intelligence-how-to-make-friends

 and describe the five rules:

The Milk Carton Rule

Disagree and Commit

The Rule of Rethinking

Help First

The Rule of the Chess Player

What are they about? Which one do you like/agree with the most?

Glossary

  • to dwell on – to think or talk about (something) for a long time
  • to commit – if you commit yourself to something, you say that you will definitely do it
  • to defy – to refuse to obey a person, decision, law, situation, etc.
  • rift – a serious break in friendly relations

Practice makes perfect

Complete the video extract with PASSIVE form of the verbs in brackets.

You know, I 1. ……………….. (STRIKE) by how one of the implicit themes  of TED is compassion, these very moving demonstrations we’ve just seen (…). There was a very important study 2. …………. (DO) a while ago at Princeton Theological Seminary that speaks to why it is that when all of us have so many opportunities to help, we do sometimes, and we don’t other times. A group of divinity students at the Princeton Theological Seminary 3. ……….. (TELL) they were going to give a practice sermon and they 4. ………. each ……….. (GIVE) a sermon topic. Half of those students were given, as a topic, the parable of the Good Samaritan (…). As they went from the first building to the second, each of them passed a man who 5. …………….. (BEND) over and moaning, clearly in need. The question is: Did they stop to help? (…) What turned out to determine whether someone would stop and help a stranger in need was how much of a hurry they thought they were in – were they feeling they were late, or 6. …….. they ………… (ABSORB) in what they were going to talk about. And this is, I think, the predicament of our lives, that we don’t take every opportunity to help because our focus is in the wrong direction.  (…) The new thinking about compassion from social neuroscience is that our default wiring is to help. That is to say, if we attend to the other person, we automatically empathize, we automatically feel with them. (…) And if that person is in need, if that person is suffering, we 7. …….. automatically …………… (PREPARE) to help. (…) I was doing my taxes the other day where I was listing all of the donations I gave (…) and I started to think about the people in the Himalayas whose cataracts 8. ……………..…. (HELP) and I realized that I went from this kind of narcissistic self-focus to altruistic joy, to feeling good for the people that 9. …………………. (HELP) I think that’s a motivator. (…) I’ve been thinking. For one thing, there’s a new electronic tagging technology that allows any store to know the entire history of any item on the shelves in that store. You can track it back to the factory. (…) you can look at the manufacturing processes that 10. ………. (USE)  to make it, and if it’s virtuous, you can label it that way. (…) In other words, at point of purchase, we might be able to make a compassionate choice.

Now watch the video and check your answers:

Key: 1. am/’m struck; 2.done; 3. were told; 4. were given; 5. was bent; 6. were (they) absorbed; 7. are (automatically) prepared; 8. would be helped; 9. were being helped; 10. were used

Discuss:

Daniel Goleman says: “there is a newly coined word in the English language for the moment when the person we’re with whips out their BlackBerry or answers that cell phone, and all of a sudden we don’t exist. The word is “pizzled”: it’s a combination of puzzled and pissed off..”

What do you think of that phrase? How do you feel in such a situation? 

.

Use the words in Glossary to complete the sentences below:

1. Perhaps you should take a little time to think before …………. ing yourself.

2. The boy ………s both his father and mother.

3. Stop …………ing on your problems, it really won’t help.

4. All diplomatic efforts to heal the ……. have so far been unsuccessful.

Key: 1. committing; 2. defies; 3. dwelling; 4. rift

Explore it more to create your own teaching-learning experience!

What People (Still) Get Wrong About Emotional Intelligence

Read:

https://hbr.org/2020/12/what-people-still-get-wrong-about-emotional-intelligence

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