These four moves can turn uncomfortable conversations into your most effective management tool.
WORD FORMATION: Change the word in CAPITALS to fill in the blanks.
If you’ve been avoiding or delaying giving critical feedback to your team, not only are you costing your company greatly, but you’re also not alone. Leadership IQ reports that 67 percent of managers do the same, and HR trusts only 35 percent of managers to handle those difficult conversations without them in the room.
(…) Done correctly, having these difficult conversations can be the highest-leverage thing you do as a leader. Here are four strategies to employ to master these conversations.
Call out the behavior, not the person
Lessen 1. …………… [DEFENSIVE] from the start by focusing on the 2. ………… [OBSERVE] action rather than the traits of the person. For example, “That report went out with numerous errors twice now” is better than “You’ve become 3. ……….. [CARE].” One opens the conversation, whereas the other attacks the human being. Observe the situation – the report going out with errors – state the behavior – QA/QC is not being done, then state the impact that has: hurts the firm’s 4. …………. [CREDIBLE] at best, devastates revenue as a worst case, depending on what the errors were.
Ditch the blame, set the bar
No one wants to be at fault, regardless of how obvious it is. Skip pointing fingers and simply state the 5. …………… [EXPECT]: “Here’s what the standard of this role is.” For deliverables, “This is the expectation of finals we send.” This shifts from 6. …………… [ACUUSE] to a shared standard.
Say it straight
Dropping hints and beating around the bush doesn’t provide a 7. …………… [MEASURE] description of where the gap between performance and expectation lies. Don’t conflate 8. …………… [KIND] with cushioning, spending minutes building someone up before finally stating the issue. Not only does that obscure the message, but it also signals your distrust in their ability to handle reality. State the issue, kindly, in the first 60 seconds of the conversation. Being direct is a form of respect. Stating, “This role requires a higher level of 9. ……………. [CONSISTENT] than we’ve been seeing. Specifically, [insert specific, plain examples]. I want to support you in getting there so we can see improvement in this area. Let’s talk through what needs to change.”
Acknowledge the elephant
Sometimes there’s a dynamic the whole team is orbiting: a co-founder tension, a role mismatch, a missed milestone nobody’s officially acknowledged, conflict with team members who have become close friends, or those you were once on the “same level” with.
Call it out. Naming it isn’t creating the problem; the problem already exists. Saying “I think we’ve both been avoiding this” resets the conversation and gives the other person 10. ……………. [PERMIT] to be honest, too. Silence around obvious things erodes trust faster than the thing itself. (…)
In order to check your answers/read the whole article, go to: https://www.inc.com/naomi-carmen/managers-avoid-tough-feedback-startup-founders/91328493
Key: 1. defensiveness; 2. observable; 3. careless; 4. credibility; 5. expectation; 6. accusation; 7. measurable; 8. kindness; 9. consistency; 10. permission
Glossary
- the highest-leverage thing – the action that creates the biggest impact relative to the effort you put in
- trait – a characteristic or quality of a person
- to set the bar – to establish a standard or expectation that others should meet
- deliverables – specific results or outputs that must be completed and handed over
- to conflate – to combine two or more things incorrectly, treating them as if they are the same
- cushioning – something that softens impact or reduces negative effects (physical or emotional)
- buffer – something that protects, absorbs shock, or creates space between things
- to diffuse – to spread out, or to reduce tension/conflict
Practice makes perfect
Read the article and decide of the sentences below are true or false:
1. Felicia avoided giving feedback because she didn’t care about her team.
2. Avoiding feedback can damage team performance.
3. Most employees think managers give enough feedback.
4. Preparing for different reactions can reduce anxiety.
5. The team lost an important client because of the failed project.
6. The article suggests that conflict should always be avoided in leadership.
7. Using “I” statements helps make feedback more constructive.
8. Feedback should only be given in serious situations.
9. Regular feedback can prevent small problems from becoming bigger ones.
10. Thinking only in extremes (all-or-nothing) can limit effective leadership.
Key: 1F; 2T; 3F; 4T; 5T; 6F; 7T; 8F; 9T; 10T
Discuss
- Why do you think many managers avoid giving tough feedback?
- What consequences can avoiding feedback have for a team or company?
- Do you think giving feedback is more difficult than receiving it? Why?
- Why is it better to set clear expectations instead of blaming someone?
- Why can “softening the message too much” actually make feedback less effective?
- Have you ever experienced unclear feedback? What happened?
- What role does emotional intelligence play in giving feedback?
- Describe a situation where you had to give someone difficult feedback. What did you do?
Watch and Revise!
Mastering Tough Feedback
4 Key Strategies for Managers
https://www.cloud.worldwideschool.pl/index.php/s/kxsSBx33xC4dXiE
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